Changes of Seasons and the ending of a chapter..

Hello my friends! It's been way too long, and yes.. I realize that I say this every time! LOL!

Well good grief, it's already JUNE!! Where in the world has the time gone??

Since the last time you heard from me, I believe you all have a lot of information to catch up on! Now, I apologize in advance if this post is all over the place. My head is completely crazy right now, so many thoughts swimming around in there and this is the perfect outlet. Not to mention, it's 3am.. haha!

So the time has come to officially announce that I'll be leaving New York in a few months, for good. These last couple years have truly been an unforgettable experience. One for which I will always be grateful for! The amazing people I've met, the indescribable memories we've made and the numerous things I've learned about myself.. none of this would've happened if I never would've come here!

Right now I'm dealing with all of these thoughts and feelings going on in head and in my heart. These three little people that I've helped raise for almost two years, are now apart of my heart forever. Diva, Princess and Starlet have taught me so much. They've showed me the kind of Nanny I want to be every day. They've loved me so completely, with every little fiber of their bodies. I've taught them how to make their beds, how to put their clothes away, multiple songs, expressions, and lessons about other areas in the country and the world. I've potty trained one and been with the little one since she was in the belly! Other than their parents, I'm their person. I'm the one they come to when they've had a bad day at school, when they memorize their lines to the play, when they need a snack, when they want a snuggle, or when they want to send a video to one of my friends! :)

Part of being a professional career Nanny is dealing with the fact that eventually you will end up leaving this family. It could be when they go to school, when they no longer need you, or when you choose it's time to move on to something different. No matter the reason you leave, it doesn't hurt any less. This pain of knowing that you are about to cause these little hearts to hurt, is excruciating. One day in the next couple months we're going to sit down and explain to them whats happening. Although I love them more than I ever thought I could, it's now time for me to move on. It's time for me to go back to the west coast to be closer to my family. It's time for me to go home. I will have to tell them that it's NOT them. It's nothing they did, or how they've been acting. It's not that Diva takes too long in the shower, or that Princess doesn't like to eat dinner.. It's not because Starlet is pinching or won't take a nap..it's all because of ME.

No, this isn't my first family I've left like this. This is the fourth family I've left by my choice (one just didn't need me any more and the other job was the daycare)  and it doesn't ever get any easier! Maybe choosing the right words to say when you give notice gets easier, but dealing with the waves of emotions is not at all fun. You know when you sign up for this, that it will happen eventually. You understand that these aren't your children and if you've done your job correctly they will know that you will always love them no matter how many other kids you end up babysitting. These girls are counting down the days until I get married because they all know that they'll be in the wedding (I just need to find the groom now!)

Now.. part of me feels bad about leaving and another part of me is EXCITED!!! When you get to a certain point in this job you have to learn to separate yourself a bit. I understand this will be a difficult time for the kids which I'm hoping to help with! I've given the employers some contacts for replacements and offered to help "train" the new person for a couple weeks so they get the hang of things before I go.

Even though this won't be easy to leave.. I'm SO ecstatic about my future!!! If you know me from before my NYC adventures you know that Los Angeles has ALWAYS been my dream life!! It's FINALLY happening!!! Some days I can't believe it's really going to happen this time.. As you will recall I was lined up to go to LA for a job I had interviewed for and then turned down because I was offered this NY job! I'm so glad I didn't go to LA back then because all of these amazing people that now mean so much to me, would never be in my life!

My plan is to drive home to Arizona (My mom has retired there now, even though most all of my family is still in WA state) Arizona is home to my heart, so I'll be going "home" there.. I'm hoping to spend a couple months just hanging out with my friends and family there. A job like this one, that's more than just a job...is completely taxing on your emotions and really takes over every aspect of your brain. I need some time to refocus and relax for a little bit, and the palm trees, pools and desert heat will help that happen! After a couple months of reconnecting with people, I'll be putting in my portfolio into agencies and contacts in LA and start interviewing! This process is always so stinkin' exciting!! The thought of embarking on a whole new adventure is what thrills me! The feeling that I can have a fresh slate and create so many more amazing memories and establish new emotional connections with new people, this is what fuels my love for new chapters in my life!!

So this Summer in New York will be one of incredible experiences!! I plan on doing a lot of fun things with my little girls, as well as planning tons of crazy things for me to do with my friends on the weekends!!

Today is the first day of June and I have through the middle of August all planned with fun things to do!! I'm planning on going to the Jersey Shore to spend time with a great friend, going to a WWE live wrestling event on my birthday July 12th, and then my wonderful friends are throwing me a farewell party the weekend after that!!

I'm SO BLESSED by the incredible life I've been able to live here and I will never take those memories for granted!

I will most likely post again before I leave, I will totally want to share the fun things I'm doing!!

I want to say a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone that supports me and the way I live my life, on a daily basis.. You all are so amazing and I really do appreciate every one of you!!!

Remember friends, go out and LIVE your LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll leave you with a few of my favorite pictures taken while in NYC!

NYC December 2013

My right hand woman AP and I are the Rockefellar Tree NYC Dec 2013

Baby snuggles...most of my life!

Greenwich Village NYC Feb 2014

In February we took a trip to Miami Beach for a week, this is where we stayed!

NYC memorial day weekend 2014

View from Roosevelt Island, NYC .. Memorial Day 2014

Ellen's Stardust Diner, NYC .. Memorial Day Weekend 2014

Fangirl Dream Night!

Hello my friends!!

 I simply don't think I could be more excited to write tonight's blog....because this is the story one of the best nights of my life!!

So lets start by saying this: whether you realize it or not, everyone is a "fangirl" of something or someone. Maybe it's sports players, movie stars, politicians, models, Soap stars, or in this case..... Big Brother Season 15 Houseguests! :)

Everyone has that one (or more) person in their head that if they were to ever meet them face to face...they wouldn't know what to do. This happened to me on Tuesday night and I will be forever greatful!

So most of you already know this, but my favorite person in the Big Brother house this summer was Amanda Zuckerman. Her entire time in the house when some people were falling in love with her and others were highly confused :) I completely understood this girl. The reasons she said things, the reactions she had with certain situations, I totally "got" it! The icing on the cake for me was when she totally fell in love with McCrae when she least expected it! To see their relationship blossom and to realize (before they did I think) that their love was real and not just a showmance! I will forever be a McCranda fan! I was SO excited when the show was over and they all took to their twitter accounts to get to know their fans, thank everyone for their support and kept the spotlight into their lives for us, (who were now dealing with Live Feeds withdrawals!) One thing that the people that just watched the show will NEVER know is how kind, generous and down to earth this girl actually is! During the past few months of twitter conversations, live twitcam sessions and listening to interviews, the anticipation to meet Amanda in person just kept building!

Then came my love for Gina Marie!! I liked her on the show and on the live feeds first off! I thought she was hilarious and had the loyalty card for sure but what didn't show as much as it should have was her HUGE heart!! This girl spent her thanksgiving weekend showing up at the doorsteps of her biggest fans to thank them for their support and show them love! She's always ready to help someone out or go to an event to support someone, and did I mention that she just dropped her first single! She's a rockstar!  I have been wanting to meet her for some time now and our first meeting will never be beat!!

You can imagine how excited I was to hear that Amanda was traveling here to New York for business. The first thing that went through my head when I found out she was headed this way was totally, oh my gosh! Maybe her and Gina Marie will get together and have some sort of fan event to meet the fans, and oh my gosh maybe it could be me and holy crap, can I hunt them down? I know...crazy right?! But that's the inner voice of a fangirl.. Whenever either of them gets noticed somewhere and fans approach them for pictures they are excited and SO nice to their fans, so I knew that if I found out where they were going it wouldn't be a big deal to go see them!

I was bummed out when the day came that they were together, running errands, hanging out and having fun and I was working late and couldn't go to the places they were tweeting for people to come see them! So after a TON of my amazing friends (thanks guys) tweeted both of them asking what they were doing that night, telling them they needed to meet the SoapNanny, etc... I finally found out via Amanda tweeting us that they'd be in times square the following night for a fashion show that GM was in and Amanda assured me that she'd be there!

That was IT! I was FINALLY going to meet these amazing women.. (yes...there was lots of fangirl squealing...some of my friends received a little video of excitement too!) :)

So I arranged with my Makeup Artist friend Amanda (Whom I will refer to as AP for confusions sake) to come with me for a night out on the town and I prayed that things would work out and Amanda would be there!!

After a full day of work with my silly babies, AP and I got on the train (after a hair and makeup session of course) and headed to NYC! We got to the Bar where it was being held a little early so we headed straight for the bar! I decided I needed a couple of shots to calm myself down (who was I trying to kid..that wasn't going to happen!) So I kept tweeting my McCranda pals that she wasn't here yet and oh my gosh, what if she didn't come! LOL..

The show was about to start and AP had been staking out a seat for us, so it was time to get ready for the action! As the show was starting there were a pack of photographers at the end of the runway that was also blocking the entrance to upstairs. I was worried that when Amanda came up, she wouldn't be able to get to where she could see GM walk down...so I had AP scoot over a little bit just incase we needed the space. NOW.. Not in my wildest dreams did I think she would sit with us..but I guess that was the theme of the night because when it was GM's turn to walk the runway the insanity in my heart started!

She headed down the runway to some fun music and DAMN, that girl has some modeling moves for sure! She took control of that room and everyone was screaming for her.. including a voice that I recognized.. So I looked to my left and SAW miss Amanda Zuckerman with her head above some of the photographers and when she saw me looking she SMILED so big, started waving at me and my heart fluttered! She recognized ME from across the room! DEAD. So GM did her thing by the photographers and all of a sudden instead of walking all the way back down the runway she made a little pitstop and came to me and SAT on my lap, hugged me and kept right on walking in beat with the song and everything! I had no idea what had just happened and I was sooo pumped because AP got it all recorded on her phone but THEN I look up and Amanda had crossed over the photographers and suddenly SHE was in my lap too!! bahahaha! She started dancing to the music (lady gaga...how do you NOT dance to it) and then she was standing up again dancing when GM grabbed her hand and took her to the runway as well! They start dancing and trotting around to the music! I could NOT believe what had just happened!! I was all worried that I'd feel stupid going up to her and introducing myself well, the both of them took care of that part for me! LOL!

So as GM finished up with the show and had more group pictures taken with the models, Amanda came back over to me, we hugged and I squealed a few times...but you know what? She did too!!! I can't speak for her but I'm pretty sure she was pretty pumped that one of her biggest fans came to see her! :)

Now, lets back up a little and explain to you all WHY this seemed so crazy to me.. These two women spent ALL Summer in a house with hundreds of cameras on them, no outside contact and no privacy...the bathroom door didn't even lock! LOL! The crazy thing is..a lot of us saw A LOT of what went on in there.. So much so that meeting them in person feels crazy because you picture them making the same facial expressions to the other houseguests like you saw on camera, and stuff like that...but it was AMAZING at the same time because I already felt like I knew them. Become a live feeder next year, you'll understand! :)

The really cool thing about Amanda and I coming face to face was the reaction people around us gave. This really nice girl sitting next to me (turns out to be a fashion blogger and a Big Brother fan) She was like, Oh you know Amanda? I was like yeah.. Yes I do! LOL. Then when Amanda came over and we hugged and squealed and immediately started chatting, the girl was like Wait?! You're JUST meeting for the first time?! No way!! It seemed like you guys were old friends!! That was the cool part...It felt like we were buddies right away!

So we all know that I'm WELL versed in fan events and meeting celebs of ALL levels. Usually if at an event like this, you go up to them, get a picture maybe an autograph, chat for a few minutes and then go your separate ways. That was kind of what I was expecting, but that sure as heck isn't what happened. From the moment after we squealed until hours later when we left, it was just like we were with a group of girlfriends out at a club! I ran to the bar and got her a drink, she put her stuff with mine at our seat and we basically just set up shop for the night! I was introduced to Gina Marie's mom and a couple of their friends, we all danced together and even jammed out to GM's song that the DJ played after we talked Amanda into going up there and asking for it! LOL!

For a little while GM was busy with the models and fashion show people so I had some time with Amanda to really sit down and talk to her! It was pretty much amazing. I was able to thank her (and McCrae) for the amazing friendships I have now because of them! There are some pretty incredible people that I talk to EVERYDAY on either twitter, texting or phone calls that I met just by being a McCranda fan and supporting their love and their relationship as well as the amazing people that they really are! She asked about my life and what I was doing in NYC. A little about our childhoods and early adulthood. The different jobs we've had and a lot of our similar interests, we actually have a TON in common and we're the same age too! That may have played a factor in the familiarity that I felt. She was even totally willing to do a few short shoutouts to my McCranda girls on video!! She LOVED it too.. I think! :)

We talked a little about other houseguests and the big brother game in general and how long I've been watching. When I told her this was my first season being a Live Feeder, she hid her head in her hands and laughed while apologizing for the things that I must have seen! LOL! Oh how she cracks me up!

When someone wanted a picture with her, she'd take one with just as much excitement as the last. When she needed to go say hi to someone, she'd go....but she always came back because we were her home base for the night!

Amanda had gone to dinner and hung out with Eric and Jon from Reality Recaps before the show so that was pretty exciting when she introduced us because I REALLY enjoy their interviews and their love for our Girls! They LOVE Gina Marie too!!! So we all danced, drank and were silly for quite some time! At one point GM had gone to change her clothes and when she returned the real dancing started! I had gone to the bathroom and came back to find GM in the middle of the walkway and decided I'd go up behind her and dance and they both LOVED that!! Screaming and all excited that the crazy SoapNanny was having a great time!!

This entire night exceeded my expectations and wildest dreams! These two girls are so down to earth, love to have a great time and they both care SO MUCH for the people who support them. Amanda said to me, Without all of you....I would be nothing.. Which we ALL know that isn't true...but it sure was nice of her to say!!

We ended the night with more photos being taken and squeals of joy, laughter and love happening all around!! When I realized it was almost 1am and a Wednesday morning...I decided I should head back home to start work in a few hours!

I want to thank Gina Marie and Amanda for SUCH an incredible experience! I love you girls so much.. sometimes when you meet someone it just makes sense, and you two are some of those people for me! You know I'll support you always...and always in for a good time!!

I'm thinking a trip to FL soon would be a fun idea!! LOL!

I hope you all enjoyed my experience almost as much as I did, whether you are just reading about it now, or you were some of the fun people following my every move, tweet or picture that evening!!

Thanks for reading guys!

Until next time, LIVE YOUR LIFE....IT'S THE ONLY ONE YOU'VE GOT!!!!


LOVE YA'LL!!!!

A New Years to Remember!!

Hello my friends!! HAPPY 2014!! Can you believe it?? It's crazy, right!!! I hope everyone had a great New Year's Eve.. because I know I did!!

Just to follow up with last blog real quick... I went home to Washington state for Christmas and had an absolute blast with my friends and family!! I got to relax for the most part and yes...that includes getting a little bored when everyone went to sleep! LOL!

I took my Gram out for our scheduled date and although we didn't get to see the movie she wanted to, we went for a great lunch at a local favorite The Masthead! We had a great conversation about the facts of life and the sad part of saying goodbye to someone, and then I decided that was enough of that and we needed to celebrate being together! So what better way to do that than to eat the most delicious berry cobbler! YUM!!

It was definitely a great trip home and a lot of decisions were made about my immediate and long term future but you all will have to wait for that! haha.. I know, I'm awful! Soooo.. the REAL point of this entry is to let you all know about the AMAZING time I had last night for NYE!!!

So you know when you are thinking of things to do on a day off and there's that really good movie you've been waiting to see, or that special play or music group is in town and you REALLY want to go ...but you don't. Why is that? What is the biggest reason people don't go do things they are wanting to do, provided they have money to do it...the real reason is there's nobody to go do it with! Their best friend saw that movie with her mother last weekend, or their concert buddy is out of town and or doesn't have the money.. whatever reason it is, I'm here to tell you that it's all bull crap! :)

Last night I went into NYC and saw the ball drop in Times Square ...ALONE!!! I know that seems scary, but it really wasn't. It was incredible! Now, before you all go mama bear on me and lecture me about going out at night by myself you should know that New Years Eve in New York City is one of the safest nights of the year! There may be over a million people there however there are about a half million NYPD walking around on foot and horse! LOL! Besides all of their security, metal detectors, pat downs and no backpack rules....I also have my pepper spray and a good right hook! :)

You guys know that I'm always telling you to LIVE your life! Experience as much as you can, SEE the things you want to see and don't wait on anything. Life is not guaranteed and we all know that, so why not go out and do as much as possible so that when your life ends you can go out saying that you've really LIVED the life you were so fortunate to be given.. Well I know it's repetitive but its SO TRUE!!! This is exactly what I decided to do last night and I will be forever grateful for whoever that voice was in my head telling me to go!

I was able to get off work an hour early and went downstairs to bundle up!! I had heard it was supposed to be in the twenties and knowing I would be standing outside all night, I ended up feeling like the little brother on A Christmas Story!! I had long johns under my jeans, cozy socks in my boots, a long sleeved shirt under a hooded sweatshirt that was then under my big winter coat! I had ear warmers under one of my fav hats and two pairs of gloves! But I will tell you something... I didn't get cold AT ALL! LOL!!!

So I wasn't exactly sure how this was all going to go down, all I knew was that I needed to find the big group of people and fit in there somewhere and that's exactly what I did....eventually!!

The feeling I got while stepping out on Grand Central and feeling that buzz in the air that only NYC has. The electric bolt of excitement for the hours to come was intoxicating!! I was that big dummy grinning from ear to ear as she walked down the street towards the mass of people gathered around! It was a bit challenging trying to figure out where to go and where I wasn't allowed to go.. Streets were blocked and closed, police were everywhere and some people were walking with more direction and confidence than I was. Some people were in their fanciest NYE dresses and heels, others were bundled up like me! Turns out those fancy people were on their way to the big hotel parties which they had tickets to and that's why they were allowed on the blocked streets when the rest of us weren't!

When I was passing Bryant Park I looked up and saw the ball!!! I about fangirl'd over it and then laughed at myself while I kept walking into the crowd! Everyone had somewhere to go and people to meet, and I just tried to blend in with them so I could get a good spot to stand! So eventually I came to a HUGE line.. I wasn't sure what the line was for but I knew that was the area people were headed towards to get to the ball drop so I followed everyone. Well, it turned out that there was a smaller line on the other side of the big one and I was pretty sure it was all going to the same spot. I got into line and immediately made some friends.. A couple from Australia in front of me and some teenage kids from Japan behind me, that made for some interesting conversation! LOL!

We came to the front of the line and was patted down, the metal detector wand was waved and bags were searched and then I WAS IN.....or so I thought!

Everyone was saying we were in the pen that we should be in, but I couldn't figure out how I wasn't huddled up with all the people. I was just walking down  the sidewalk and there was another pen that actually had people standing there waiting. My new mission was to find the opening of the pen, but first I had to find a bathroom! It's common knowledge that once you're IN the pen, you can't leave! If you leave, you can't come back and I didn't want that to happen. I walked for blocks and couldn't find any restaurants with working toilets (they can pretend, but I know the truth), Finally I found the entrance to THE pen and a nice little café restaurant right beside it! The sign on their door read that Restrooms were available for customers only, so by golly....I had dinner! LOL!

Once my $30 Sandwich and $15 cup of soup were consumed and facilities were used, I headed to the pen!! This was actually a REALLY cool part!! There were LOTS of the different pens divided up depending on which block you were at! The Ball was on 52nd and the entranced was at the corner of 57th. So the way it worked was every time someone was opt out and leave (MANY people did.. they couldn't handle waiting) then we all got to move up to the next block! So I would talk to people around me, make friends and then have to move up and make new friends! It was like speed dating! LOL! So my actual standing and waiting time was about 3 hours and it surprisingly went pretty quick and I managed to get up to 53rd by the end of it!

I'll tell you what though...after everything it took to get there  and find where I was supposed to be, that final countdown was FANTASTIC!! Such an amazing feeling to know that I was experiencing in THIS moment, something that I had dreamed about since I was old enough to know what New York City was! I sang with bums on the street, held hands with a 14 year old Japanese exchange student while snuggling to break the wind chill, I shared my hand warmers with a cute boy that wasn't at all interested in me and helped an old couple stay warm while they celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary.. THESE are the things I will think about when someone tells me I shouldn't do things by myself..

Of course you have to be smart about it, don't go shady places in the dark, carry your pepper spray, know where you are going and always have a charged cell phone but good grief, GO DO IT!!!

Do I want to go out and do things alone ALL the time.. NO, I LOVE MY FRIENDS!! But life as a New York live in means that not all your friends are on the same schedule as you, and most of your family members are thousands of miles apart. I do what I have to do, and nothing will stop me from this amazing adventure that I'm on!!

I hope you all had an amazing Holiday season and got to love on your loved ones, because life is short and we all could use an extra hug every now and then!!

Thanks for humoring me and letting me gush about my exciting night and I also want to thank those of you who kept telling me to update my facebook and twitter last night! That made me so happy!!

I better get to bed now...Work in the morning!!

Love you guys!!! Until Next Time!!!

Reflection Without Regret...

Hey guys!

As you all know I live across the country from most of my family and some days it hits me harder than others. Now, I wouldn't call it homesickness or anything because I've been here 15 months and before that I was in Phoenix for years but I think it has to do with being SO far away!

Tonight's volcano of emotions was caused by a realization that my crazy, fun, loving and passionate for Jesus, Gramma is really slowing down and I'm not sure I'm okay with that.

I haven't lived in the same city as her for the last ten years, but our relationship has never suffered because of it. Actually when I first moved to Phoenix in 2008, I started a weekly phone call to Gram that always lasted a couple hours each. My phone calls with her are ALWAYS entertaining.. We talk about my adventures, our family, pop culture, quoting scripture, the words of nursery rhymes and most importantly we always talk about the desires of our hearts.

I am SO much like this Gramma that it's almost scary! I have her German nose for starters! :) Her hard headed nature and stubborness, her passion for children, her ability to talk to each person she meets and go home friends with them, her love for worship songs and singing in general, the desire for family and close emotional relationships....All of these things are in ME because of HER.. I'm pretty sure!

So knowing that I'm going home for Christmas and knowing that my Gram is 82 (i think), I decided that I would surprise her with tickets to go see The Nutcracker in Portland (She used to take me when I was young, so this was our "thing") I had asked my dad what he thought about her health and if she'd be able to do it.. Never thinking the answer would actually be no.. He said that even though I wanted to surprise her, I should really just ask Gram to see what she thought.
Tonight I called her and we talked about Portland and the Nutcracker.. She said that although it made her heart happy to know that I wanted to do this to her, she feels like it would be too much for her. The thought of getting ready, traveling the distance to the city and sitting through a production is too much for her these days.. This hit me HARD.

I didn't get upset over the fact that I'm missing the ballet.. I couldn't care less about that. Hello...I live in NYC, if I wanted to see a ballet..I could anytime I felt like it! I was upset because of the fact that this little afternoon would be too much for her.. I know I shouldn't be completely surprised, because she hasn't been in the best of health these last couple years (battling cancer and beating it!) but she's had complications the last two months and not able to do much depending on the day..

We decided that she really wants to go to the movies because she hasn't in a long time, so I said that would be our date.. I will take her to lunch and a movie and she will be absolutely tickled, and to tell you the truth...so will I!

It hurts my heart that I have no idea if this is the last time I will see her... BUT I know better than to count her out now.. She's still got her sass!! :)

All of this has me thinking about my decisions I've made the last few years. I've made the choice to move so far away, to only see most of my family once a year and I've accepted that relationships may change and I may miss things. What came into focus tonight was the fact that all of those things that I'm missing back home, they would still  be happening whether I were in the house next door, the street across town or 3,424 miles away.. We can't stop time and we can't make our selves crazy with the "what ifs" and "I wish" statements in our heads..Instead we need to make the most of what we choose.

If I'm going to be far away from my family to live in a new city for a few years, I'm going to LIVE! I'm going to travel to as many places as possible, experience as many new things as I can, and document them all for the ones who can't be with me..

We all know that we never DO know when the last time we see eachother will be. It doesn't matter our age, or our profession or where we live.. We all have those thoughts of regret every now and then, I wish I would have taken my Gramma to the Nutcracker last year when she could have made it. I still hope and pray everyday that my Gram will live to see my own babies some day, but nothing is guaranteed. So I will go and make the most of our lunch date, we'll laugh about old memories, we'll chat about our fears and goals for our lives, and we'll probably pray for the people sitting in the booth next to us and then break out into song during our entrees..

Life is about LIVING and life is about LOVE!!!

Please don't wait until next year, or next month or even tomorrow to tell the ones you love how AMAZING they are. How much they have impacted your life and how much you can't wait to share with them about your adventures!!

We only have one life my loves, go live it without regret!!

Thanks for listening..I needed this!

Until next time, be kind to each other!

Who are we living our life for??

Hi friends,

I know it's been wayyy too long since I've blogged and I should do a review of ALL the incredible things I've been doing the last few months but I have something else weighing on my heart and my mind tonight and I really just need a place to vent.. So I promise to catch you all up on the AMAZING life of The SoapNanny sometime soon, but tonight is a more personal note. 


I have a question...WHO do you life YOUR life for? Do you live the life you were taught was the thing you are supposed to do? Do you live the life that came the easiest without difficult obstacles? Well.. here's the life that I lead...

I wake up every morning and the first thing I do is thank my lord and savior that I woke up another day. Then I thank him for this life that I have the honor of living...
But right after I thank God, I make a promise to myself...EVERY. DAY. 
I promise myself that I will take this day and make it the most amazing day possible. If that means that I show more patience with the girls, or have a smile on my face for the westchester moms that don't show the same to me, or going to a soap opera fan event with my friends, OR that may simply include taking a two hour drive after work blasting my country music with the windows taking in the beautiful New York Suburb scenery just grateful for life! 

I try to live my life like we aren't guaranteed tomorrow....because we're not.

Now.. having said all that, there are A LOT of people that think the way I live my life is silly. I'm almost 28, not married, no kids, and haven't lived in the same city or state for more than a couple years my entire adult life... BUT GUESS WHAT?! 

Contrary to popular belief, we weren't all made the same. We don't have the same desires in our hearts, or abilities in our bodies. For instance... I LOVE HOT WEATHER!! (Which is partly why I loved Phoenix so much).. but a have a ton of friends that freak out when it gets warmer than 85 and could never handle it..

Well the same thing applies in my ability to live away from my family and childhood friends.. We aren't all made the same. Not all of us can live in the same city our entire lives without leaving.. (Note, I'm NOT bashing those of you who have never left...I'm just not made that way)

Some of you know that I didn't have the ideal childhood...I've experienced more pain than some people realize and don't need to know about, and I'm not going to explain further on that subject BUT just know that when I left Washington for the first time in 2008, I didn't know if I could do it...but I knew that I had to.

I had no idea what I would find in Phoenix, but guess what I realized...I had never TRULY had simple HAPPINESS until I left my hometown. I left that pain, I left the hurt, I left the bad reputations, I left the holes in my heart, I left the darkness...

I lived in Phoenix for almost three years and then moved home for what I thought was going to be a nanny position for my nephew (that ended up falling through but I was already back in washington) I tried SO HARD to find that happiness again and it just wasn't there. I ended up moving back to Phoenix a year to the DAY I had left! :)

Now, I feel like I need to explain my definition of Happiness.... My happy, The Summer Kay HAPPY...includes feeling the sunshine in your soul. Waking up with not only a smile on your face but a purpose of greatness in your heart. Being so completely excited to live your life that you make people roll their eyes at your exuberant attitude! Whether you are driving alone in your car or meeting new people in the supermarket, mall or baseball practice.. you SHINE with LOVE of your life! THAT my is Happy!

Please notice that all of this HAPPY is about YOU! It's about loving who YOU are.. It's not about Boyfriends, jobs, financial status, material things, but about YOU and the way you look at life. 

I know this blog is completely ALL over the place and thank you for reading even though it's a mess...but I really just needed to get these thoughts down. 

I was made to feel guilty about the way I live my life, tonight. Some of my family back home just doesn't understand why I'm so happy living in New York (or Phoenix) and not back home where they think I belong. Why don't I come visit more? Why do I have to live across the country? 

My answer: Because I CAN! I'm 27, not married, not kids, and don't need to take care of my parents yet...I have no responsibilities (accept my credit card debt, car payment, and other stuff).. I have no mortgage, no rent, no HOA to pay.. it's just ME. This is the time of my life to be SELFISH.. If I don't do it now, then it will never be done and then I wouldn't be living MY life to the fullest, right?!

Every heart has different desires... 
Do I want to get married? YES! In fact, I pretty much have the wedding planned (please insert groom)
Do I want to be a mom? Absolutely, with or without the husband..

Do I want to settle down and establish roots? the house, the dog, the white picket fence??? It's my biggest lifes DREAM to make that happen..and I believe that it will...when it's supposed to.

I spent a half hour today on the phone with my Dad, defending how I life my life, why I go on trips to Boston, Nashville, Pennsylvania, Jersey...What I spend my money on, Why I don't come visit more...and then it dawned on me.. WHY am I doing this? THIS is MY life! 

I love my Job... but it's a TOUGH job!
I work extremely hard, sometimes VERY long hours...
I deserve to go do fun things on my time off, and I will go do them. 

Despite how it may seem.. i DO enjoy going home to visit my friends and family and wish I could do it more.. but flying across the country for a weekend visit just isn't very practical very often! 
In fact when I found out yesterday that I am going to have a four day weekend next weekend, the FIRST thing I did was check the flight prices to see if I could make it work.. (If you don't know the 4th of July is THE BEST weekend to be in Longview, WA.) But it's just too expensive right now...
It was MUCH easier to do that when I lived in Phoenix and that will happen again soon. 
 
 So I guess I've said all that to say this... I love my family and friends with every bone in my body, BUT I love ME too. I love being able to have this time of my life to be on this grand adventure that I never pictured myself doing.. I mean I randomly went to Central Park and read my book under a tall shady tree last weekend (What kid from L-town, WA has the chance to do that?)... 

I will never apologize for who I am, or how I life my life. 

I love my God, I love my family and I love who I am becoming...

Please be proud of who you are and love the life that you are living.. we only get ONE shot at this.. I think we owe it to ourselves to LOVE the time we get on this earth!!!

Thanks for listening to my babbling... I feel better now!!

I better go to bed... The baby will wake up soon! (I'm working 48 extra hours this weekend!) :)

Until Next Time, 

Summer Kay!
 

 

So much has happened...

First of all:   HAPPY DECEMBER!!!! I love this month SOO much, I can't believe it's here!!

It's been way too long since I've written and I'd love to just start from this week BUT with so much having happened are here since September I have to do an overview!

Well, I survived my first Hurricane!! We were hit by Hurricane Sandy on Oct. 29th and boy was it crazy! We are soooo lucky that we all had minimal damage to our houses around here. Not to mention my car was completely untouched even tho two trees fell all around it! I say we totally had a Jesus bubble around us because three houses around our yard had trees fall through their houses! The house behind us still has half of the inside of their house showing and not rebuilt yet.. poor people!

The week after Sandy hit, we had our first snowstorm of the season and that was crazy as well!! The good news was my girls didn't have school so I got to show Princess and Diva how to build a proper snowman, it was their first! We had a blast, complete with chicken noodle soup for lunch while looking out the window watching the blizzard! (Just like they do in those soup commercials! lol!) The thing that impressed me the most is the ability the NY employees of the city get the streets cleared REAL QUICK! LOL! By the next day our 7 inches of snow started melted and the city looked like it never happened! But I guess they are used to it, so they know how to get their lives back to normal! :)

The SOAP part of Soapnanny is in full swing in my life right now! The first weekend of November I went to Orlando, FL for a "Fall Getaway" Soap event hosted by my friend and mentor Debby! Her Fan events are always so much fun and a bunch of my friends were there so of COURSE it was crazy! The following weekend I went to another event in Long Island to see a couple of the other actors from the show AND had a BLAST with my east coast soap friends!! (There is a group of 6 of us that go to the events all together when they are in NY and have a silly time just being crazy!)
During all of this going on, I've been planning my own event with my Sunshine Soap Events Company! Two of the actresses I've worked with before, (Kodi Kitchen, ex-Maggie and Andrea Bogart, ex-Abby) wanted to have a NYC event, so I made it happen! This is always fun to plan but oh so stressful.. This one in particular has been rough because since both the girls aren't on the show anymore, it's hard to get the fanbases to want to spend their hard earned money to come out, which I totally get.. But in my opinion no two other people who have been let go deserve to have some FAN love other then these two girls!! ANYWAY, This event is on the Upper West Side at a bar called Jake's Dilemma in NYC NEXT WEEKEND!!! I'm so excited to have this actually happen, everyone have a GREAT time.. and to not have to worry about it anymore!
If I could get everyone's prayers that we get PEOPLE TO SHOW UP!!!! That would be amazing.. thanks!

So guess what?? CHRISTMAS TIME IN NYC IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!

I was fortunate enough to be able to experience the Macy's Thanksgiving day Parade, and BOY was that just AWESOME!!!
I got up early, took the 5:17am train into Grand Central and walked a ton of the parade route until I found a place to stand!! I met one of my nanny pals there and we experienced this amazing thing together.. something I will never forget!!
The remainder of Thanksgiving weekend was spent relaxing, event planning (as is every spare minute I've had since september) AND I bought my mini Christmas tree for my bedroom!! It's PINK of course! Princess and Diva are all excited about my little tree and ask to come downstairs multiple times a day to check on it! LOL!

This last friday I was able to go into the City to see the ROCKETTES!! Wow, were they incredible or what!! We ended up getting our tickets for free too... After 45 mins of trying to hook up with the lady that we were buying the tickets from the show was starting, the doors were closing and we all had tears in our eyes (I invited two nanny pals to come) THEN some random, amazing old man came up to us and asked if we had tickets.. we just frowned and said, No.. He then took three tickets out of his pocket and said.. There, Enjoy the show!!! AAAHHHH!!!! Our faces lit up like Christmas Trees and we all just about kissed him! LOL! The show was mind blowing in itself but then afterwards we HAD to go see the tree!! Rockefeller Plaza with the TREE and the Ice skating Rink was BEAUTIFUL!! We also took random pictures of pretty decorations around the city! I got home from the train station at 1:30am but MAN was it worth it!!

I continue to count my blessings every day I get to live in this spectacular place!!!!

I'm getting ready to celebrate Hannukah with my Diva and Princess next week and that shall be fun.. OH AND Baby Starlet is DOING GREAT! She's growing in her mama's belly everyday and she's now the size of an ear of corn!! We get to meet her in 15 weeks and I'm ecstatic! :)

I'll be going out to Washington for Christmas to spend some time with my friends and family.. Not enough time to see everyone but hopefully I'll see as many people as possible!! and YES.. I am currently planning a trip to see my AZ friends soon! :)

Merry Christmas everyone and lets not forget the reason for the season!!!!

Until Next time.... Be nice to one another! :)

The Soapiness of Nannyhood!!!

Okay well I totally had my mind blown today...but first: I must tell you all about my SUPERness last friday!!

So far in this blog we've talked about my journey to get to NY, some of the fun things I've done here and getting used to my nanny family but NOW we get into the real stuff!! Last friday was such a crazy busy day in my nanny world! Now that Diva has started school (some half days, some full days) our world is a little bit of this, a little bit of that! Friday was full of taking her to school, taking Princess to a preschool ice cream social to meet her teachers, waiting for the dishwasher delivery man, picking up Diva in my car since MB had princess in theirs..and then when we finally all got home and had lunch then their Nana showed up for some togetherness time for a few hours! There was nothing on that day that let us have our routine and schedule but hey, that just happens sometimes right?!

In the late afternoon that day MB told me about a "Welcome back to school" BBQ that Diva's school was putting on and asked if I wanted to take the girls and of course I accepted because I love adventures!!

OH MY GOSH..WHAT AN ADVENTURE IT WAS!!!! At the exact time that we got out of the car for the BBQ to begin..NY decided it was a great for a thunder and rain storm!!! The girls were freaking out! lol! So for the next 2 1/2 hours I was wrangling two goofy girls, three dinner plates, six muddy shoes, 25 minutes in an ice cream truck line, 30 minutes in the rain waiting for the jump house and 100s of people we didn't know, probably judging the crazy nanny with two messy girls! lol!
Needless to say, when we finally got home and everyone was drenched, coated in melted ice cream and exhausted...I was ready for my friday night to do nothing! LOL!! Oh how I love my hectic life!

NOW to the good stufff!!! So most of you know about the fabulous Nanny M that I was introduced to on my first week of work! Our employers work together and have been friends for a while and naturally they had to fix up their nannies to be friends too! I've been incredibly grateful to that because she is a DOLL!!! She's in her 50s and has grown kids of her own and been nannying FOREVER! The first time we had a playdate she was telling me some local parks to go to, about her church that she wants me to go to, what areas here to avoid..etc.. I felt like I learned a lot from her, well that was NOTHING compared to what she taught me today!!

See, over the last few weeks I've been taking the girls to a variety of different parks, usually two parks a day..and sometimes we run into the same Nanny/Kid combos day after day. The kids play together sometimes and sometimes they dont but the Nannies always seem to talk to each other and it feels like everyone knows everyone else!

You all pretty much know ME, and know that I am NOT shy! LOL! I will pretty much talk to anyone and by the end of 10 minutes they will know my whole life story (even when I was little)..So that's how it usually goes..but I haven't been able to crack these Nannies! Now, you know that I'm not racist at ALL.. actually I'm the furthest from it, but after a while of me trying to connect with these ladies and them just not investing in my at ALL, I mean we're talking about fake smiles and walking away while I am talking to them about kids, our activities, etc.. WALKING AWAY!!! Anyway, It came to my mind that maybe they weren't talking to me because I was the only White girl there?? WELL, Nanny M has explained to me what was going on.

I guess these groups of Nannies avoid other Moms at the playgrounds at all cost, and since I am new to the scene Nanny M thinks that the other Nannies thought I was the mom!! THAT made me laugh sooo hard! Me?.. The mom?? Okay!

So I asked her what the big deal about the moms were? I mean, the whole three years I was in Phoenix and had kids with me all my friends except one other nanny my friends were the stay at home moms! I would host toddler parties and I was the only non-mom there! LOL! Well, apparently it's different here!

She explained that this big group of Older, African, Jamaican, Asian and Hispanic Nannies that all hangout together at the parks have been burned by Other Moms, nosing into their business and then going to their employers with stories they hear at the playground and some nannies that they've had in their homes for YEARS have actually gotten fired! DOESN'T THIS SOUND JUST LIKE THE HELP!!! LOL!! It absolutely kills me!!

Some Nannies had been complaining about their jobs, or not watching the kids, or being on their phones too much, or talking not so nice to the kids, (ALL NOT GOOD NANNY TRAITS) Have been ratted on by Secret Agent Spy Moms! lol!!

Soooo Nanny M said that she would let them all know that I'm good people, but that just raises a question in my head.. DO I EVEN WANT THEM AROUND ME???

If someone is going to be that protective and judgmental of new people, Do I even want to put up with their pettiness?? Whatever happened to being polite and saying "Hi! How's it goin today? What have you guys been up to?" to no matter WHO they are!! Geesh! LOL!

So I'm eager to see what happens next time I am seen with Nanny M (who I guess is one of the Veterans and everyone loves her)!!

I just thought that had to be shared because WHO KNEW there would be so many little secrets and cliques in a playground by the CAREGIVERS!!! LOL!!!

Until Next time....BE NICE TO PEOPLE!! :)