Changes of Seasons and the ending of a chapter..

Hello my friends! It's been way too long, and yes.. I realize that I say this every time! LOL!

Well good grief, it's already JUNE!! Where in the world has the time gone??

Since the last time you heard from me, I believe you all have a lot of information to catch up on! Now, I apologize in advance if this post is all over the place. My head is completely crazy right now, so many thoughts swimming around in there and this is the perfect outlet. Not to mention, it's 3am.. haha!

So the time has come to officially announce that I'll be leaving New York in a few months, for good. These last couple years have truly been an unforgettable experience. One for which I will always be grateful for! The amazing people I've met, the indescribable memories we've made and the numerous things I've learned about myself.. none of this would've happened if I never would've come here!

Right now I'm dealing with all of these thoughts and feelings going on in head and in my heart. These three little people that I've helped raise for almost two years, are now apart of my heart forever. Diva, Princess and Starlet have taught me so much. They've showed me the kind of Nanny I want to be every day. They've loved me so completely, with every little fiber of their bodies. I've taught them how to make their beds, how to put their clothes away, multiple songs, expressions, and lessons about other areas in the country and the world. I've potty trained one and been with the little one since she was in the belly! Other than their parents, I'm their person. I'm the one they come to when they've had a bad day at school, when they memorize their lines to the play, when they need a snack, when they want a snuggle, or when they want to send a video to one of my friends! :)

Part of being a professional career Nanny is dealing with the fact that eventually you will end up leaving this family. It could be when they go to school, when they no longer need you, or when you choose it's time to move on to something different. No matter the reason you leave, it doesn't hurt any less. This pain of knowing that you are about to cause these little hearts to hurt, is excruciating. One day in the next couple months we're going to sit down and explain to them whats happening. Although I love them more than I ever thought I could, it's now time for me to move on. It's time for me to go back to the west coast to be closer to my family. It's time for me to go home. I will have to tell them that it's NOT them. It's nothing they did, or how they've been acting. It's not that Diva takes too long in the shower, or that Princess doesn't like to eat dinner.. It's not because Starlet is pinching or won't take a nap..it's all because of ME.

No, this isn't my first family I've left like this. This is the fourth family I've left by my choice (one just didn't need me any more and the other job was the daycare) and it doesn't ever get any easier! Maybe choosing the right words to say when you give notice gets easier, but dealing with the waves of emotions is not at all fun. You know when you sign up for this, that it will happen eventually. You understand that these aren't your children and if you've done your job correctly they will know that you will always love them no matter how many other kids you end up babysitting. These girls are counting down the days until I get married because they all know that they'll be in the wedding (I just need to find the groom now!)

Now.. part of me feels bad about leaving and another part of me is EXCITED!!! When you get to a certain point in this job you have to learn to separate yourself a bit. I understand this will be a difficult time for the kids which I'm hoping to help with! I've given the employers some contacts for replacements and offered to help "train" the new person for a couple weeks so they get the hang of things before I go.

Even though this won't be easy to leave.. I'm SO ecstatic about my future!!! If you know me from before my NYC adventures you know that Los Angeles has ALWAYS been my dream life!! It's FINALLY happening!!! Some days I can't believe it's really going to happen this time.. As you will recall I was lined up to go to LA for a job I had interviewed for and then turned down because I was offered this NY job! I'm so glad I didn't go to LA back then because all of these amazing people that now mean so much to me, would never be in my life!

My plan is to drive home to Arizona (My mom has retired there now, even though most all of my family is still in WA state) Arizona is home to my heart, so I'll be going "home" there.. I'm hoping to spend a couple months just hanging out with my friends and family there. A job like this one, that's more than just a job...is completely taxing on your emotions and really takes over every aspect of your brain. I need some time to refocus and relax for a little bit, and the palm trees, pools and desert heat will help that happen! After a couple months of reconnecting with people, I'll be putting in my portfolio into agencies and contacts in LA and start interviewing! This process is always so stinkin' exciting!! The thought of embarking on a whole new adventure is what thrills me! The feeling that I can have a fresh slate and create so many more amazing memories and establish new emotional connections with new people, this is what fuels my love for new chapters in my life!!

So this Summer in New York will be one of incredible experiences!! I plan on doing a lot of fun things with my little girls, as well as planning tons of crazy things for me to do with my friends on the weekends!!

Today is the first day of June and I have through the middle of August all planned with fun things to do!! I'm planning on going to the Jersey Shore to spend time with a great friend, going to a WWE live wrestling event on my birthday July 12th, and then my wonderful friends are throwing me a farewell party the weekend after that!!

I'm SO BLESSED by the incredible life I've been able to live here and I will never take those memories for granted!

I will most likely post again before I leave, I will totally want to share the fun things I'm doing!!

I want to say a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone that supports me and the way I live my life, on a daily basis.. You all are so amazing and I really do appreciate every one of you!!!

Remember friends, go out and LIVE your LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll leave you with a few of my favorite pictures taken while in NYC!